Do you suffer from walking depression? I read this article by Alison Gresik. While she talks about walking depression in writers and artists, I found it profoundly relevant to many everyday women I work with and coach.
On the surface, people might not know anything is wrong. You keep working and keep looking after your families.
But you’re doing it all while profoundly unhappy. Depression is negatively impacting your life and relationships and impairing your abilities.
Walking depression can be hard to recognize because it doesn’t fit the more common picture of severe depression. But it can be just as dangerous to your well-being when left unacknowledged.
1.Nothing is fun. You root around for something to look forward to and come up empty.
2. You can’t find flow. Working on your creative projects feels like a grind, but you keep plodding away. There is research that shows that neuroticism (the tendency toward negative moods) is associated with lower rates of flow.
3 Your energy is low. Maybe you’re not getting enough rest because you’re too anxious to sleep, or you’re trying to cram too many tasks into a day, or you’re punishing yourself by staying up. Whatever the reason, you are effin’ tired.
4. You feel worse in the morning and better at night. I remember explaining this to a friend, who found it mystifying. In the morning I felt the crushing weight of all the things I had to do that day. In the evening I was temporarily free from expectations and could enjoy a moment’s respite.
5. You have simmering resentment toward others. Sure, you’re still doing what everybody asks of you, but you stew in anger the whole time. You are jealous of and bitter toward people who look happier than you feel.
6. Your self-talk gets caustic. You say nasty things in an effort to shock yourself into action. You use shame as a motivator.
7. You feel distanced from people around you. It’s hard to have genuine, intimate conversations because you have to keep up this front that you are alright.
8. You deprive yourself of creative work time. This helps you exert some control and stirs up feelings of suffering that are perversely pleasurable. Also, taking on new projects that prevent you from writing or making art lets you prove to yourself that you’re still strong and capable.
9. You notice a significant mood change when you have caffeine or alcohol. A cup of coffee might make you feel a lot more revved-up and optimistic. A glass of wine might make you feel really mellow and even ~ gasp! ~ happy. (That’s how I finally realized that I was depressed.)
10. You feel like you’re wasting your life. Some people have a high sensitivity to the inherent meaning in what we do. If our daily activities don’t carry enough significance ~ if they don’t feel like a worthwhile use of our talents and passions ~ then soon we are asking ourselves, “What’s the point? Why should I keep going?”
Why is it hard to admit that you have walking depression?
You may recognize many of these signs in your life but still be slow to admit that you are depressed. Why is that?
Because it feels presumptuous to put yourself in that category when you’re still getting by. You feel like it would be insulting to those who are much worse off than you. You may feel like you have no real reason to be depressed.
Because your pride and your identity take a hit. You have to admit vulnerability and allow that you are not the all-conquering superhero you thought you were.
Because you realize that you and your life need to change, which feels like more work piled on your plate.
Because you are admitting your own responsibility for your unhappiness and that can trigger self-judgment.
Because you might uncover grief or anger at those around you for not seeing and taking better care of you.
Prison Break Action Steps:
Rest.
Make use of medication and other physical treatments.
Do therapy.
Practice gratitude.
Make connections.
Reduce your responsibilities.
Spend time creating.
Change your thoughts.
Develop a meaning practice.
Change your life.
These steps are simple to say, not easy to do, so make sure you get as much support as you can.
As a young adult, I longed to make my mark on the world and be successful. But life got in the way, I started to sabotage my own happiness. I got sidetracked by all the demands of an ordinary life.
Soon I joined the ranks of the walking depressed. I was working and looking after my family, but I was also desperately sad.
I found the path out of depression by following my desires—to write, to travel, to support criminal justice issues and became a certified life coach. Eventually I left ordinary life behind.
Find and follow your path of desire! Walk out of walking depression and into an extraordinary life!
Love Allison 💛
Prison Break Coach 