10 Ways to Let Go and Open Up to Love Again

Imagine if we only had one chance in life to be happy or successful.

In our careers.

In our choice of friends.

Or in love.

What a very sad world it would be if we were all doomed to work in jobs we hated or to hang around people we no longer connect with. Worse yet, what if we lost our chance at love?

Why put yourself through so much pain and suffering for a love that hurts and could end?

Tiny Buddha nailed it.

The reason to give love another shot, I’ve learned, is that by loving better and deeper, we become even more whole. Our hurt and tears clear the fog around our heart and illuminate the soul.

The journey to love is a journey to one’s self, your highest, most sacred and loving self.

There are plenty of obstacles keeping us from loving again. Sad to say, I’ve experienced them all.

Here are ten way to let go of the obstacles preventing you from having love in your life.

1. Let go of pain.

You can’t let go of pain  by resisting it. You could avoid the pain for some time, but in order to move on you must fully embrace the pain.

Embracing the pain means experiencing loss, sadness, and grief. As difficult as it might be, allow the tears to flow and share your experience with your friends and family.

Write down your feelings and come to terms with the emotions you’re going through.

Instead of judging yourself harshly for your feelings, wash yourself in compassion for finding the strength to move through your pain.

2. Let go of trespasses.

When you break up, you feel like you want to blame everyone for causing your heartache. This includes not just your ex, but also their parents, your parents, their friends, your friends, and everyone in between.

The only way to stop blaming others  is to forgive them. No matter how grave the offense or how unacceptable their behavior, your healing starts when you let go of the gripe. Yes, it was unfair; yes, it was unjust; and yes, they did you wrong. But there’s nothing to be done now but forgive.

Forgive people, because they, like us, have many imperfections. They know not what they do. They don’t live up to our expectations and have had difficult pasts that we may not understand fully.

3. Let go of bitterness.

The way to let go of bitterness toward others is to think of the many positive qualities and experiences you’ve had with them.

Your ex is not an evil person; they just weren’t the best person for you.

Instead of being stuck on their flaws and wrongdoings, allow the power of forgiveness to overlook what they’ve ‘done’ to you. Look at what good they’ve done, how much they’ve helped you be a better person, and the happy times you had together.

Remind yourself of their redeeming qualities. See their light.

4. Let go of resentments.

We let go of self pity and resentments by being more grateful.

Not only be thankful to your ex and the relationship you shared, but start living a life filled with gratefulness.

Notice the small things and the big things that are constantly occurring around you.

Appreciate the kind gesture, the words of encouragement, and the favorable circumstances that unfold in your life.

Making a small gratitude list as you start or end the day can help you move from focusing on resentments to focusing on thankfulness.

5. Let go comparing yourself to others.

What I’ve learned is that no relationship is perfect and most relationships look good from the outside. Comparing your relationship to others isn’t very constructive.

Once again, transform bitterness toward others to gratefulness that others have found love in their lives. If others have found love, let that be a message of hope and possibility for you.

We are each on our own journeys to better understanding ourselves and loving better. Our journey is independent of anyone else’s.

Your day will come. Your broken love and loss are the seeds of true love.

6. Let go of expectations.

We’ve grown up to expect a lot of things to turn out a certain way. But like the weather and weather reports, you can’t count on sunny and bright all the time.

If we can’t expect good weather, we sure can’t expect a perfect love or a partner to behave a certain way.

The way to be happy in and out of relationships is to let go of expectations and conditions.

Your Mr. or Mrs. Right isn’t a certain height, a certain profession, or a specific personality.

Be open to the magic of possibilities.

7. Let go of resistance.

Although love can be painful and heart-breaking, be willing to open your heart anyway.

Be open to meeting new people, be open to being vulnerable, and be open to falling in love again.

Love can only bloom if you’re open to love in your life. Set the intention for love to enter again.

8. Let go of being tough.

I know the feeling well. “The stronger and I am the more closed I am to others, the less likely someone else will hurt me again.”

If you close your heart and feelings to others, you may avoid pain but you’ll also miss out on happiness and joy.

Seek to be your most honest self. Instead of hiding behind a cloak of someone you’re not, be yourself in the world, which will only make you more attractive.

By being true to yourself, you’ll also attract people who are better suited for you.

Being vulnerable means being honest about your shortcomings and sharing your feelings. It’s choosing honesty over trying to look good.

9. Let go of telling the same story over and over.

You want to tell the same sad story repeatedly to friends—a love gone wrong, a love soured, a love that fell apart.

What if that story simply wasn’t true?

There are many perspectives and stories in every relationship. Are you holding onto a story of resentment and bitterness?

Are you willing to see a different story? A different perspective?

Could the lost love have helped you grow? Heal some part of yourself? Learn about an open wound?

Is the story you’re telling yourself blocking love from entering your life again?

10. Let go of fear.

The way to let go of fear is to recognize and embrace it.

How is fear holding you back? Is it keeping you stuck from living the life you want or the love you desire?

Call fear out for what it is. What is the worst that can happen if this fear came true? How likely is it that this fear will come true? Have you overcome fears like this in your past?

When you confront fear and acknowledge it for what it is, you can have an honest conversation with fear.

Ultimately, a partner is a mirror and guide to help you complete the journey to your truest self. Even if you break up with them, they can be a conduit to healing and being made whole.

Let go of your blocks keeping you from experiencing joy. Let go and choose love again.

An unknown author wrote, When two who have suffered find each other, the bond is like steel. They become each others’ soul mates and comfort from the storm of life. At the same time, they stir the deepest, darkest desires in each other.

Finding someone you love and who loves you back is a wonderful, wonderful feeling. But finding a true soul mate is an even better feeling. A soul mate is someone who understands you like no other, loves you like no other, will be there for you forever, no matter what. They say that nothing lasts forever, but I am a firm believer in the fact that for some, love lives on even after we’re gone.~Cecelia Ahern, P.S. I Love You

Because I let go and chose love again, I found my “Perfect For Me” husband to be. My forever. My left arm. My soulmate. My Mr James Garrett. PS….I Love You❤️

 

An Extraordinary Future: The Choice is Yours

How many times have you told yourself that you would commit to something and then a day or two later, do the exact opposite? When was the last time that you let someone down or did something that you felt shame about?

If you are tired of breaking promises to yourself and then beating yourself up and feeling bad about yourself later, it is time to learn about what is controlling your choices and creating your life.

Right now, your self imposed prison — your shame, your fear, your magical thinking, your insecurity — lurk in your unconscious and tell you what you can and cannot do, what you should eat, when you should or shouldn’t exercise, how much money you can make or save, or how fulfilling or unfulfilling your relationships can be. Right now, your prison tells you how much success you will experience, how much joy, happiness and fun you will have or how much silent suffering you will endure, even if you have a great big smile on your face. But you DON’T have to allow your prison to be in control of your life. You DON’T have to tolerate this anymore. Today is the day to say “No more!”

And that is what it all comes down to…choices!

You are an adult who is making thousands of choices each day about your life. You don’t have to allow your prisoner thoughts to be in control of your life. Instead, you can choose to shine the light on your darkness and get into the presence of your goals, dreams, and desires. You can choose to envision a new future and ensure that the choices you are making are moving you in the direction of your dreams.

We must learn that our present is a result of the choices we made yesterday, and our future will be determined by the choices we make today. Do you want to live an extraordinary future? The choice is yours and it starts today!

Transformational Action Steps

1) Make a list of two goals that you are committed to reaching.

2) Ask yourself, “Are the choices I made this week moving me in the direction of these goals?”

3) If not, identify the part of you that has been driving your decisions. Who is driving? Who is making the choices? Is it your wounded self? Is it the part of you that worries what your partner will think? Is it the part of you that wants to ensure your peers like you and approve of you? How long have they been in the driver’s seat? And how much longer will you give them the wheel?

4) Set a strong boundary with this part of you by letting them know that you are now taking control, that you are going to protect yourself and that they can no longer drive. In other words, revoke their driver’s license. How? Write it down. Create a positive statement and put it up where you can see it daily. Create your future now.

5) When we are driving, we have the ability to push on the gas pedal. Take one action this week that proves you are in the driver’s seat.

6) Sign up for Prison Break Group Coaching Experience Accomplish Something Extraordinary, a life-altering course you can do from the comfort of your own home starting Tuesday, March 10th. In Accomplish Something Extraordinary, you will be coached in a group setting to awaken to the power of the choices you are making in each and every area of your life. You will be guided to discover where your self imposed prison is in control. By shedding light on what lies at the root of your choices, you will be able to make new choices — choices that empower you, inspire you, and propel you into an extraordinary future.

I can tell you that the transformation I’ve experienced is ultimately because of the choices I’ve made. This same transformation can be yours. I promise you that when you join us on this journey of Accomplish Something Extraordinary, you will be able to powerfully use your voice and begin to feel worthy of everything the universe is waiting to deliver to you.

The time is now.

The choice is yours.

With love,
Allison

Your Prison Break Coach

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TGIT-Great News For Red Wine Drinkers and Scandal Fans

TGIT red wine drinkers: I have scandalous news. A new study says that drinking a glass of wine can equate to an hour of exercise.   Ok before you run out to the Wine & Spirits there’s more! I have good news and bad news.

The good news is that the study that was  published in Journal of Physiology a few months ago annonced that resveratrol, a natural compound found in certain fruits, nuts, and …….red wine, could actually “enhance exercise training and performance.” There is still more. The principal investigator for the study, mentions that resveratrol can also offer the same benefits working out does!

The  bad news is if the wine is not red  it doesn’t count AND  and it only works with one glass — so gulping  a bottle a week doesn’t equal  four to six gym sessions. Don’t let that get you down.

There are plenty other benefits to that glass of wine.  We’re all aware that wine is one of the healthier choices you can make when consuming alcohol, but just how healthy is it?

Wine is said to be the most calorie friendly alcoholic beverages,  adding up to only 100 calories in a typical five-ounce glass. Wine also contains antioxidants and can help prevent heart disease, as well as lower bad cholesterol and the formation of blood clots. Another bonus? Apparently red wine acts as a mouthwash because the flavan-3-ols in it can reduce “bad bacteria” found in your mouth. I’ll just give all of the Olivia Popes out there another moment to continue rejoicing!

Other than the fact that red wine still qualifies as an alcoholic beverage, which isn’t exactly the greatest thing you can put into your body, it’s still good to know that indulging in a little red vino can do more than just make you tipsy faster.  Its an hour’s worth of cardio!  So grab your glasses and work out tonight with the Gladiators!